Today I want to talk about my boyfriend. Those who know me well know that I (normally) can’t stand gushy people but this is an exception to that rule… mainly because he deserves to be celebrated for the beautiful person he is, both inside and out, and for everything he’s done for me while I’ve been so seriously unwell.
For the last 18 months, I’ve had serious back pain as a result of an on-site injury but my L4/5 disc is now fully prolapsed and pressing on my sciatic nerve, narrowing the space in the spinal column and giving me severe sciatica for 7+ weeks now. I haven’t been able to walk more than 10 meters unassisted for around 6 months.
I can no longer walk, sit or stand. Finishing my uni architecture uassignment was an absolute nightmare. I can’t contribute to household chores. I can’t work therefore can’t contribute financially. I feel, as you can imagine, pretty hopeless.
We’ve had 6 x Emergency visits in the last month. Not once has he complained. Not once. Whether it be 10am, 4am, midnight, 11pm… He’s just there, ready to go. He holds my hand when I get injections and strokes my hair and holds me when I doze and when I cry. Every day. Not just when we are at the hospital. The nurses think we are ‘adorable’ and ‘so cute’ (direct quotes)… Not what I expected to hear but lovely all the same 🙂 … He even tries (usually in vain) to track me down a pillow when we are in the ER but these are a valuable commodity… Patients need to trade money and cigarettes just to get a pillow … Wait, wrong place but you get my point. I think this time the budget cuts have gone a little bit too far.
I’ve seen him tear up when I’ve been in pain because he feels so helpless. I’ve suggested that I’m an architecture student with excellent scalpel-wielding skills and have no problem with operating on myself but I’m told we have to call that ‘Plan B’… At least we haven’t lost our sense of humour.
What it all boils down to is this; my boyfriend is (literally) a superhero. He loves superheroes, my little nerd ( 😉 ) but he’s not aware that he is one. Which is wonderful… He’s humble and beautiful and I have no idea how he fits his huge heart inside his chest.
With my architecture assignment, he endured the stress for months. We had to move a computer table into the bedroom over the bed… so without a word of complaint, he slept with a Jetstar sleeping mask on while I worked all night. On the final night, he was there with me until I submitted at 11:58pm (it was due at 11:59pm so imagine that stress, if you will). It’s those little things that matter. Not the big gestures. They’re meaningless to me. But the little ones, they’re what count.
For example, he showers me, washes my hair, shaves my legs and dries me. None of which I can do myself. I mentioned I might feel like doing some watercolour painting in bed yesterday and I entered the bedroom to find he’d tracked my paints down (somehow, in my chronic disorganisation of stuff and things) and left them on the bed for me. He comes to check in on me when I’m sleeping in the afternoon. He does the shopping, the cooking, the clothes washing and the cleaning. He never gets angry or frustrated (that I know of) and he never – ever – blames me. He runs to the pharmacy day and night, all while maintaining his professional life. See? Superhero. No other explanation.
He massages my leg to try to relieve the sciatic pain at all hours; he brings home my favourite architecture magazines and treats to relieve the boredom of being housebound. He brings me flowers and gifts. He listens when I need to let some rage and sadness out and he never judges.
He stacks my favourite food at the top of the fridge so I can reach it…. And possibly the cutest, funniest of all is that about a week ago, I noticed he’s been stacking the toilet paper rolls higher than normal in the bathroom so I don’t have to twist or bend to reach them.
He considers my every need and responds to each as best he can. I couldn’t ask for more – largely because he already goes above and beyond. Thank you, my love, for everything. I don’t know what stars or planets aligned to bring us together but I’m grateful every day that they did. Having met (and adored) your family, I know that’s where your huge heart comes from… You’re so special to me and I love you with everything in me ❤️❤️❤️
… And even amongst all this craziness, you still want to marry me one day. Haha. Wonders will never cease. Love you big xoxoxo