I am. I really am. I’ve been too fearful (of exactly who is reading this blog) to post anything. I got some comments and emails from the last couple of posts I wrote and they just made me afraid to put myself out there. But the good news is that emails and comments come with IP addresses and IP addresses can be traced. The Federal Police tell me so… so hopefully there won’t be anymore cruelty or harassment 🙂
On a far more pleasant note, university is back with a vengeance. It’s the start of Week 2 and last night I pulled my first all-nighter. Already?! Like come-the-hell-on, people. This morning people were warned that I was uncaffeinated and may snap at the drop of a hat. The fall-out was relatively mild. Haha.
Mondays we have all our classes… 8am until 8pm. The work load is huge, the pressure is hectic and I have perpetual heartburn.
But I couldn’t be happier.
Last week I taught my first Visualisation class to the First Year Interior Designers. It was, hands down, one of the most fantastic experiences of my life so far. My class seems to be lovely; they are engaged, responsive and eager to learn. I’m counting my blessings that they are this way because I’ve heard some horror stories!
But being able to stand up there and teach a group of students; being able to impart my skills and my knowledge of drawing and technical drawing and methods of visual presentation… it was sensational!
It’s a long tutorial (4 hours) but the skills they learn in this class are critical for the rest of their degree… And being able to be part of their journey as budding designers is just so rewarding. I was nervous. I was worried at how they would respond to me but it was all smooth-sailing and I left that room feeling better than I have in a long time. Maybe ‘better’ isn’t the right word. More uplifted. More focused. More confident.
One thing I kept saying to them over and over again is that this isn’t about being perfect. It’s not even close. It’s about experimenting, trying new methods and techniques… Learning what works for them and what doesn’t and which methods are the best ones for communicating their design intent. So I don’t want to see perfect.
I’m going (to try) to take my own advice this year. It’s going to be hard being perfect whilst studying full-time and working 3 jobs. I think it might be impossible. It sounds vaguely masochistic now that I say it out loud…
So I’m going to take nights off. I’m going to give myself ‘down’ time. I’m going to go and watch the Qld Reds play at the home games. I’m going to be a loving daughter and sister and an attentive, nurturing tutor. I’m going to be a better friend and I’m not going to be scared to speak my mind.
For years I’ve let fear rule my life and not being able to blog the last few months has proved that. But these are just my thoughts and a record for me, of my life and my architecture. That’s all. Don’t like it? Don’t read it. And don’t bring me down.
Over the coming weeks will be a mixture of personal and uni posts – fear free. To everyone who supports me so much even when the chips are down, thank you 🙂
And watch this space.