… Oh yes. The best laid plans will almost certainly go awry. I had a completely different post planned, a completely different day planned, a completely different sleep pattern planned… and yet here I am, blogging at 2:22am. Wide awake. I haven’t slept in over 41 hours. That’s not actually bad by my standards but I’ve spent those hours and this evening being (insanely) productive and really bloody cranky at myself. I was doing so well and then… nope. Not so much. Wasn’t it just recently I was talking about not compromising yourself or your ideals for others? Well…..oops. I fell off the wagon. Let this be a lesson to you, children 😉
I will mention my ‘somewhat discarded but sort of ties in’ post topic at the end of this post… but on my way to my WordPress dashboard tonight, I stopped by Joe’s blog to see if he’d posted anything new. He had – and it turned out to be the cure for what ailed me… 3 videos called ‘My Last Days’, a small series on people who have little time left to live due to cancer / terminal illness and their remarkable courage and strength in the face of adversity.
The link for the post is http://trialofthecentury.wordpress.com/2013/01/18/last-days/
…and below is the video that had the biggest impact on me. They are all beautiful, touching stories… but for this boy to have such insight at his age is just phenomenal. Towards the end of the video, he says something that reduced me to even more tears than I already had going. I’m all cried out now. No more tears left. Need to drink a big glass of water to replenish my stock 🙂 I think this is something absolutely everyone needs to think about and apply to their lives in some way. We all do it. It humbled me in an instant. Watch it. Listen to it. Really listen.
“The decision to be positive is not one that disregards or belittles the sadness that exists; it is rather a conscious choice to focus on the good and to cultivate happiness – and genuine happiness. Happiness is not a limited resource, and when we devote our energy and time to trivial matters and choose to stress over things that are ultimately insignificant, from that point we perpetuate our own sadness – and we lose sight of the things that really make us happy; and we rationalise our way out of doing amazing things.” (Christopher Aiff)
Up until the point I watched this, I had been having a rather difficult time of things – and internalising it, as one does. Far better to keep the stress in so that it can eat away at your insides… * rolls eyes *
We all worry about such insignificant things… at another point in the video, Chris says to identify the things that are most important to you and just do them. Life really is too short. I’ve been so worried about putting this next thing out there for all to see but I’m just being needlessly nervous. I know in my heart that no one is going to judge me. No one I know and love, at least.
It’s become really important for me to track my moods, my diet, my energy etc… I don’t think it’s too melodramatic to say that it’s imperative to my happiness… but then again, I didn’t think it was too melodramatic to sit through this morning’s staff meeting practically blessing my coffee for its restorative powers, so I’m probably not the best judge.
Keeping mood / health journals does my head in. I wanted to use my creativity to devise an easy and somewhat enjoyable way for me to document it all… so I devised this little chart in Illustrator that I can alter with a simple click of the rotate, copy and paste commands. So i figured that every time I blog – and possibly in between blogs – I will just change the gauges / faces to how I’m feeling on any particular day and post it. I may not even discuss it in my blog… it will just be there to serve as a (dated and traceable) reminder of how I was feeling on any given day.
This is what it will look like, only I can guarantee no 2 days will ever be the same 😉
Pretty self explanatory, right?
Panel 1 is the face I show to the world, Panel 2 is how I really feel.
Panel 3 gauges Irritability from “cool as a cucumber” to “stand back, she’s gonna blow”.
Panel 4 measures how much is left in my Emotional Tank – ie. how much I have left to give to others… if it’s approaching red, I suggest you re-check the Irritability rating. lol.
Panel 5 is Diet and Health, from “absolute crap” to “my body is a temple”… and lastly,
Panel 6 gauges my energy from “comatose” to “hyperactive”… let me say ahead of time I don’t think I’m ever getting to the energy blue zone but stranger things have happened!!
Anyway, I hope no-one thinks this is too stupid… I just needed a way of recording that I knew I would be able to maintain. Plus, we have to get used to blogging as it will form part of our assessment in coming years for our Arch studies… it’s time and date stamped so there’s no getting around it; you can’t fake it. You’ve just gotta bite the bullet and get it done.