This is going to be another short blog because – and I know this will sound odd – I have too much going on inside this little brain of mine. My fear is that until I sort some of it out, my blogs may appear to be just random streams of consciousness that contradict each other. So I’m letting go of what I feel I ‘should’ be doing (ie. writing my blogs, preparing for the Canberra trip, doing my washing and ironing, going for a run, etc.) and doing instead what I need to do. Being true to myself… being authentic and, dare I say it, being vulnerable… that’s my reality. That’s what I need to do. Figuring out how to do it is another thing entirely but it doesn’t change the goal. Ordinarily, saying something like this on a public forum would scare the living sh*t out of me. But it doesn’t… so maybe that means I’m ready to be me.
Although I’m a little too exhausted to blog about it just yet, the below video was recommended to me by Joe over at www.trialofthecentury.wordpress.com … and seriously everyone, if you’re not following this blog, you need to be. It’s thought-provoking, relevant, funny and incredibly honest.
The impact this TED talk had on me can’t be put into words … (at least not yet). This is what I’ve waited my whole life to hear. It’s almost like permission to be who I actually am, to not be scared of the questions I have and to not fear what I don’t know. I’m not apologising for the fact that this entry is perhaps lacking in my normal humour but the video has knocked me for six 🙂
I thought maybe using some of Joe’s questions from his blog as starting points for my ‘sifting through it all’ thinking process would help me… I’m really hoping he won’t mind!! I’ll post links to the particular blogs that the burning questions came from. Soooo.. over the next couple of days, I’m going to be answering the following… with my real answer. Not the sweetened version.
1. Should your passion pay your bills? (http://trialofthecentury.wordpress.com/2012/08/29/should-your-passion-pay-your-bills/)
2. How does trust work? (http://trialofthecentury.wordpress.com/2012/08/27/year-of-questions-how-does-trust-work/)
3. Why do some people apologise too much and others not at all? (http://trialofthecentury.wordpress.com/2012/08/26/year-of-questions-why-do-some-people-apologize-too-much-and-others-not-at-all/)
4. Does karma really exist? (http://trialofthecentury.wordpress.com/2012/08/08/year-of-questions-does-karma-really-exist/)
5. Can you live a full life without love? (http://trialofthecentury.wordpress.com/2012/08/04/year-of-questions-day-2-can-you-live-a-full-life-without-love/)
6. Does physical appearance really matter? (http://trialofthecentury.wordpress.com/2012/11/20/thats-a-good-question-does-physical-appearance-really-matter/)
7. What can you learn from losing? (http://trialofthecentury.wordpress.com/2012/11/15/thats-a-good-question-what-can-you-learn-from-losing/)
8. Should you be friends before you date, or just date first? (http://trialofthecentury.wordpress.com/2012/12/29/thats-a-good-question-should-you-be-friends-or-date-first/)
And my own questions:
9. What is the appropriate response when someone hurts you deeply?
10. How do you find the courage to tell people something about yourself that has a stigma attached to it?
11. If vulnerability means we are not only open to joy, love, creativity, fulfilment etc. but also to heartbreak, fear, feelings of unworthiness etc… how do we deal with those people who see vulnerability as a “weakness”?
12. Does being vulnerable essentially mean that we wear our hearts on our sleeves? Something we are told a lot of the time is not an attractive quality in a prospective partner?
So that’s the plan. My plan. Hopefully answering some of these will spark other questions which will lead to … God knows what. Wish me luck – I have a feeling I’m going to need it 🙂