Friendship is like…

I’ve come across so many quotes that start out that way but i think the funniest one was:

“Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it but only you can feel its warmth”

This has been a year where the true meaning of friendship has been thrust into the limelight for me. Where people I never thought I would connect with captured parts of my heart and in return, I believe I captured parts of theirs. For reasons that will be discussed in later blogs, I have a tendency to believe that I don’t need anyone. That it’s easier to rely on oneself than it is to trust that what you give out, you’ll get back. The people I’ve met this year proved me wrong. There’s a lot that I’m so inspired to blog about but for today, I want it to be about the friends and family who are the foundation of my existence.

Maybe part of me believed that ‘solo-land’ was better because of the cess-pool in which I had been living for the past decade. There were a few amazing people – those people know who they are… but for the most part, it was impossible to swim in a town that shallow. More on that later too. But moving back home, starting my Architectural degree, following my dreams and meeting a colossal amount of talented, vibrant and goodhearted people has changed that outlook.

When I moved back home, I was terrified. My life as I’d known it was o.v.e.r… I had nothing left inside to fight with and yet I still didn’t quit. Definitely not a quitter. I didn’t have many friends there anymore; my best friend was overseas, my good friends were moving on with their boyfriends / husbands and their lives… all I really had was a gut feeling that it wasn’t too late to get the life I wanted and the knowledge that I wasn’t just going to let things ‘happen’ anymore.

There are a small handful of people who have made an incredible and indelible impression on my heart this year and I wanted to take this opportunity to thanks those people and let them know why I love them. Hell, it’s nearly Christmas. That’s my excuse for being soppy and I’m sticking to it.

These are new friends I’ve made this year, so for all my long-standing friends who are freaking out about not being mentioned, please don’t … hopefully you always know that I love you and without you, I’d be an empty shell of a woman. haha. My amazing family, the 2 x Amelia’s, Pip, Carly, JPN, DP, CG… it doesn’t matter what happens in our friendships and relationships… it will all work itself out because you’re all incredible people and I have to trust in the system… that the universe knows what it’s doing. And those who really know me know how little faith I have in the universe but the events of the past few months have shown me that now is the time to trust it. Don’t screw it up, universe.

I should also say that the people mentioned below are in their late teens / early 20’s and you wouldn’t know it because of their emotional maturity and their ability to think about others as well as themselves. So…. ladies first…

Ololade: Pure sunshine. Just being in your presence is enough to feel the lightness and beauty that you bring to the world… you just have such hope and such strong belief that good will prevail. You are wise beyond your years and to you, the world is a magical place where not only the improbable but the impossible can happen. You have so much more to experience but at this point, your naivete, strength, talent and grace are qualities I envy. I remember when I was your age and I viewed the world and its goings-on exactly as you do now; that good things would happen just because I wanted them to with all my might and that if I thought a certain way and I tried to always do good, then surely everyone else did too? My mistake was allowing that outlook to be taken away – but through you, I can feel it returning. Don’t ever let ANYONE take that away from you, beautful. The fact that you caught public transport 1.5 hours (each way!) to come and see me when I was sick and you brought me a flower and kind words to lift my spirits… small gestures but the only kind worth anything as far as I’m concerned. I just have so much love for you, little lady… and you need to know that there is always someone here for you too. Rain, hail or shine. xx

Isabel:  Oh Isy, where do I start? You’re unique in a way that I’ve never understood and I don’t care to understand. I think figuring out the way you think would take away from its brilliance. You have all the tools in you to be unstoppable, I just need for you to believe that with everything in you. The randomness of our conversations, followed by painfully accurate insights into things you shouldn’t yet know about or understand is heartlifting. I love the way that you take time to think, to understand and to forgive (and then liken all your friends to characters from Gossip Girl). I love the way you unfailingly make me laugh and that you can get me to talk like a teenager and not feel guilty about it. What I really, really need you to do is back yourself, sweetie. You have a talent that is rare and not easily understood by non-creative people… I know that can feel like a roadblock at times. You have huge dreams, your life is planned out as you want it be and your ability to think outside the square is a gift that only the best of the best have… embrace it. Believe in yourself. I believe in you without any hesitation. Oh, and your fashion sense is awesome and I plan to covet it in 2013.

Lauren: It wasn’t until the latter part of 2012 that you opened up to me a little more and I am so glad that you did. You’re a phenomenal woman. You have a strength about you that I’m not sure I’ve ever had and I admire you so much for it. You know what you want, what you deserve and you’re not willing to compromise on that. When I wasn’t well and with everything terrible that was going on around the time of that last assignment, you took the pressure off me and helped me sort through a really difficult time. I’m not even sure you really understand what that turning point in our friendship meant to me. You gave warmth, friendship, laughter and strength to me at a time when I had nothing left in the tank to draw on – you filled me back up. You’re also incredibly funny – really witty!! – and I want more people to see that about you. Thank you for everything you did for me this year – you know how appreciated it was. And let Operation PT start in 2013… bring it on 😉

Jarrad: My Uni Son… my little bundle of joy from the Scenic Rim. haha. Without you, I’m pretty sure this year wouldn’t have been half as fun or half as productive. You are such a bloody great kid and a wonderful human being. I can categorically say I’ve never met a young man like you before and I’m not sure I ever will again. You have maturity far beyond your years but at the same time, can make me laugh at something ridiculously stupid until I get tears in my eyes. Like Lauren, with that last assignment, you went above and beyond the call of duty as my friend… you spent 2 days with little sleep on the floor of my living room helping me pull it all together because my mind and my health was all over shop. You gave your time and energy to help someone completely voluntarily. The fact that you offered and that you were so worried about me still makes me teary now. It was the first time in my life that anything I’ve given out had been given back to me. You’re someone who just loves life, loves their friends and knows that no matter what happens, there’s always something good in every day. Whoever gets to be your girlfriend will be a lucky, lucky girl (one day when you’re 25 and I let you start dating – haha, kidding)… Oh, and I know you won’t even remember this but one of my favourite moments was the time that you forgot to sign one of your messages with kisses (because I always do) and a split second later, a text with “xx” came through. Don’t ever change, kiddo.

Alex: I don’t know where to start with you either, tallest of my munchkin minions! (n.b. the term minions comes from Isy, not me – I don’t actually believe I have minions) … You were the first friend, besides you-know-who-yes-epic-disaster, that I made in that great big scary place. I couldn’t figure out why you always came in and sat alone and maybe there was some undertone that I picked up on but somehow I knew you shared my sense of humour and my impatience when it comes to idiotic, selfish, thoughtless people. Which is why I continually sat next to you despite your long drawn-out sighs and mean faces that I think meant “why does this old lady keep sitting next to me??”… hahaha. I knew eventually you would cave and you did 😉 … I’m never sure what the foundation of our friendship is, I just know that it works and that’s enough for me. You even let me hang on to your arm at that first crit when I was terrified and I couldn’t breathe and I really hoped the floor would cave in and take me with it. Your humour and your cynicism kept my spirits up all year and I know they’ll continue to do so for a long time to come. Don’t be afraid to let people see the softer, more vulnerable sides of you though – you’ll gain so much more by letting that happen. I think this best sums up you and I – haha:

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Gregory: How can I possibly sum you up, gorgeous boy? You’re a deep thinker, a dreamer, a realist and a phenomenally talented human being. You have so much insight into people and that’s so rare for someone your age. Your laugh is contagious and your enthusiasm for life is unstoppable. You’re different to everyone else and you embrace those differences rather than covering them up. That takes courage and foresight, qualities that don’t exist in half the people I know who are over 30. You’re incredibly intelligent and have an enormous heart. You have the ability to cut through the crap and see what’s really at the heart of things, at the same time still managing to have a gentleness that is really heart-warming. I know sometimes things seem like they’re too much and I know you can match me in terms of perfectionism and wanting to attain impossible levels of brilliance – not for others, but for yourself. This is not always a great thing and it’s something we need to work on, together. With each other for support, we can recognise the signs for when to stop, when to slow down and when to work together to achieve the “amazing”.

So i know this one got a little long – apologies –  but it’s something I needed to do. If people bring something to your life, don’t ever be ashamed to tell them. Yes, it might mean getting soppy and emotional for a brief moment but if my friendships are anything to go by, it gets acknowledged and is followed by laughter and a few smart-arse remarks. The difference between that laughter moment and 5 minutes earlier is that now someone knows what they mean to you 🙂

xx

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